The Dirty Mommy Club

We have finally joined the Elf on the Shelf extravaganza, albeit a little late in the season.

Apparently our elf, Miss Holly, has been busy drinking and recording with the Elves Gone Wild crew.

Of course, that's to be expected of Dirty Mommy's elf.

Merry Christmas Dirties.  Wishing you a holiday season full of happiness and health.  And if you're lucky, a little dirty time too.

Muah!

Ok, again, I'm not here.  But I am here.  And you'll want to read it.  Really.  It's about my 'discussion' with Santa.

And now, for your viewing pleasure.

Cheers Dirties.

Every year I take my kids to get their pictures taken with Santa.  I spend about an hour getting each of them dressed, cleaned up, and spiffed up to make the fat man proud.  We park the car, talking as we're walking, about what each of them will say to Santa when they sit on his lap.  And each of my kids are super excited.  Until it's actually our turn.  Then it's a hot mess of craziness.

Exhibit A

Note:  before Megan Fox's elf double sat down with my oldest, she too was screaming her Jack Frost head off.  My littlest babe was shocked into a state of cooperation.

Come blizzard or high ice float, I want that Christmas picture.  So, my kids will either get over their fear, or they'll be screaming at the beginning of December in a Canadian mall for the next fifteen years.

But this year's photo fiasco got me thinking.  There has got to be a better way.  So I turned to the holy grail of information, Google, and found this.  Thank all that is holy!  An alternative.  I am a huge fan of Amy and her blog, The Idea Room.  I constantly turn to her blog and hack her ideas for my family for inspiration for my own family.  But Santa pictures without Santa, freaking brilliant.

Happy ho ho Dirties.

Christmas is almost here and I just realized that I haven't prepared my Christmas wish list.  Hopefully I made the nice list cut this year.  Either way, here goes:

Dear Santa,  

All I want for Christmas this year is sleep.  The kind of sleep that happens after a full night of tequila. 

Thank you.

Dear Christmas Past,

I would like you to locate my ass circa 2006 and bring it back to me.  I miss it terribly.

Thank you.

Dear Christmas Future,

Please bring all of my children home each year during the holidays until I die.  After that, they can do whatever they want.

Thank you.

Dear Christmas Present,

Let the wonder in the eyes of my kids on Christmas morning be forever etched on my heart.  And please don't let me burn the turkey.  That would suck.

Thank you.

Make sure you get your lists to Santa before next Friday.  You can mail them to

Santa Claus

North Pole

HOH OHO

Does anyone else find it funny that the words 'pole' and 'ho' both appear in Santa's address?  Mrs. Claus must be a minx!

Merry Christmas Dirties.

I'm pretty sure Ella is going to be a dancer when she grows up.  And I pray to God, the good kind.  As soon as she hears any music playing, she's up shaking her little butt and gettin' down on the dance floor (aka our living room).

Every week, Ella looks forward to her dance classes.  She loves to learn her ballet positions, but equally loves the energy of her jazz class.  And each time I see her dance, I tear up.  It fills my heart to see her do something she loves with such pride.

The other interest Ella seems to be enjoying is singing. She performs daily duets with Dirty Daddy singing everything from Journey to The Police to Lionel Richie. They're seriously good and I'm considering booking them to start touring in the New Year.  

If you put Ella's two current loves together, you get dinner and a show everyday in our house.  Not too long ago, Ella was shakin' what her mama gave her to one of her favorite songs, Boom Boom Pow. She's actually starting to learn some of the words.

So there she is, shaking her butt, and she starts belting out a tune that went a little like this:  'Boom Boom Pow, cause the Bible told me so'.  Fergie, God.  God, Fergie.  Introductions done.

In the words of my husband, I'm 'not too domestic'.  Pop by the Momcafe for further explanation. 

Cheers Dirties